An Unlikely Common Interest

For the first time in not-so-recent memory, Hana was disappointed not to talk to someone. He would have loved to find Ayame back at the faculty office at the end of the day, do whatever he could to talk things out with her, clear his head over what had happened that morning, figure out if she had really meant to ask him out. Instead, he found a note from her at his desk giving him a time and a place.

In other words, no choice but to jump right into it. He wasn't mentally prepared for this.

Of course, this could still all be part of an elaborate prank being played on him, but Hana dismissed the possibility. No one had been around to see him come into contact with Ayame that morning, and he figured a female co-worker, at least, would be past the age where such ill taste would be conceivable. By all accounts, if he showed up, he would have to face Ayame right then...along with whatever consequences may come of that. He paced back and forth across the office for minutes that seemed to stretch into hours, turning the note over and over in his mind and his hands. Those conflicting feelings came back to gnaw at him; the piece of paper grew damp from his sweaty palms.

Finally, he found a detail to latch onto: the restaurant. He recognized the name of the Italian place she was suggesting. In fact, he had fond memories of the establishment. It offered not only delicious Western cuisine but also a choice of atmosphere, featuring both table-and-chair settings and traditional raised tatami platforms to sit at. Hana had always been more comfortable with the former; the latter reminded his brain too much of the bar stools he had to sit on at the school's accursed monthly nomikai.

If nothing else, it would be a nice place to eat out that evening, date or no date. With that thought, he finally brought himself to leave the school, but not before reorganizing his clipboard to set class 2-B's reference material at the top. May as well be prepared to have something useful to talk about.

When he at last came within sight of the venue, sure enough, there was Ayame. She was shifting her weight back and forth and kept looking around impatiently. Eventually she caught sight of him, and Hana picked up his pace to meet her. Yep, this was really happening. Words failed Hana momentarily. He was losing control of his guarded expression; he didn't know for sure what was written on his face, but he was convinced it was somewhere between guilt and embarrassment.

"Ayame-san...I-...I hope I didn't keep you waiting long..." Hana had to resist the urge to burst out laughing and facepalm at himself. It sounded like such a cliché even as it rolled off his own tongue. He could almost hear the mandatory reply of no, I just got here myself ringing in his ears already.

Hana relaxed slightly when the next words out of Ayame's mouth actually echoed the ringing in his ears. Things were easier for him to deal with when they were predictable. They were off to a good start; maybe he could pull through this encounter after all. They'd find some common ground to discuss over a nice dinner; he'd find compliments to lavish her with, she'd get embarrassed; he'd get a speck of sauce on his face, she'd wipe it off; they'd walk home together partway over lively chatter and making plans for more of the same tomorrow...Oh, stop it. This isn't a high school dating sim.

He was too distracted by his thoughts to answer that he already knew how good the food here was when she told him, instead answering with an "Mm" sound that may have resembled something approaching assent. They entered the building and a server greeted them. Hana was relieved that Ayame seemed content to let him decide where they sit; he doubted his ability to properly articulate the question. He led her to one of the Japanese-style lowered tables and stepped out of his shoes onto the tatami platform. Gentleman instincts kicking in, he turned around and offered a hand to help Ayame up, but his eyes wandered down to her legs and lingered there as she slipped off her heels. His heart caught in his throat; he had forgotten to brace for that. He snapped his head away, stopping just shy of dropping her hand to literally slap it away. Goddammit, why did girls have to be so attractive when they took their shoes off?! And why did that have to be such a proliferous element of Japanese etiquette?! Well, he supposed, perhaps the latter question was part of the answer to the former. Being easily recognizable as a show of respect used when entering another person's home, it must have sent his brain signals of intimacy and closeness even where there were none. An imagined subconscious willingness to let her guard down around him that drew him to the sight. Though it was beyond silly and he knew it, he had always considered Ayame pretty, and there was no denying the feelings that were stirring within him now. Well, now he'd have to ignore them long enough to get through the evening without making an ass of himself. He could do that, right? He was the stoic type...

Hana sat down across from Ayame with his clipboard at his side, trying to calm his breathing and heart rate. Initially leaving the thick cloth napkin at his placesetting alone, he quickly unfolded it and laid it across his lap when he noticed Ayame doing the same. Right. That's how they do things over there. He knew plenty of English, but still next to nothing about their culture. He started flipping through the menu furiously when a waitress came to take Ayame's drink order. It was always a struggle to find the non-alcoholic section. He finally found it, and something caught his eye right away. "I'd like a strawberry mango lemonade, please," he said. That was one element of Western culture he was fully aware of and appreciated quite a bit. He loved the self-serve soda fountains at some of the American fast food places, where he could mix up his own drinks from whatever multitude of flavors were on offer.

"Oh, I meant to tell you, I know this place," he finally said when Ayame asked him about her directions. "Don't worry about it; all I needed was the address. I really like it here. Good food and atmosphere..." He trailed off momentarily, but he fought not to let the conversation end there. He wouldn't clam up. He couldn't. Not this time. "...Uh, speaking of which, do you know what you want yet? I think I definitely want the chicken parmesan. With a side of spinach."

There was that cute little glasses push of hers again, making Hana smile. And that wasn't the only reason he was smiling. Right, our students. Great. I can talk about that. He briefly glanced down at the clipboard at his side, which currently bore the class roster for 2-B on top. The name of the first student he wanted to discuss was marked with a trio of tiny butterfly-like shapes: Kage Munro, still linked to Shiro Yamamoto. "Well...can we talk about Munro-san first?" he began slowly. "I'm probably her least favorite student...for a number of reasons. I think we were both at the staff meeting they held when she transferred in last year, regarding her fear of men and what to do about it or whatnot? As far as I know, nothing has yet come of that meeting...she still visibly flinches when I walk past her desk, and she makes a point of staying as far away from me as possible when turning in a paper. I mean, I'm used to people staying as far away from me as possible, but it's especially noticeable with her." He paused and frowned for a moment. Had he said that last part out loud? His mouth had kind of been running on autopilot as his brain fed it detailed thoughts from memory. The possibility jabbed at his heart like a needle, but he shrugged it off. He thumbed through his clipboard for a page of notes with Kage's emblem on it and unclipped it.

"And I can tell she's not a fan of math. It's such a shame because I'd love to give her extra help with my class but she just won't let me in. I mean, she seems to have a very small number of people she trusts, like Shir-...Yamamoto-san from the same class. Which is great because she's very good at math and can help her. But I hardly ever Munro-san talking with anyone else. It's like she shuts everyone else out." The longer he spoke, the more animated his voice became; he was in his element now. His mouth struggled to keep up with his eyes as they flew across the page of notes. "When I've given multiple lectures and assignments in a row covering the same type of material, I've never seen any improvements in her scores or her responses in class. I'm sure she could do well if she'd apply herself, but even the face of her friend's enthusiastic advice she just can't be bothered. It's frustrating; she won't talk to me and won't put forth an effort to actually learn when I know she can. It's like she's convinced that it isn't worth it. ...That she isn't worth it..."

Hana trailed off with that thought, suddenly shocked at the sheer number of words that had come out of his mouth. He wasn't even giving a lecture! To anyone else it probably would've appeared to be an ordinary-length conversation, but for him it was anything but. Was this what it was like to have someone to talk to about these things? He leaned back slightly and sighed without thinking, riding an unfamiliar mental euphoria. Perhaps for the first time, he thought, he could truly appreciate the meaning of the phrase "getting something off your chest".

Hana's expression continued to brighten as Ayame told him not just more about Kage but more about herself as well. He couldn't believe he was actually having a real conversation with her, easily even! Should it always have been this easy all this time? Come to think of it, why did carrying a conversation with one person have to be any different than talking to a class? If all he had to do was let his brain feed the relevant information to his mouth and keep talking...

"So, music will get her attention, huh? Honestly, I don't know how well I could pull that off. I know there's some basic mathematics involved in musical theory, but certainly nothing like the logic, calculus, and trigonometry I'm teaching my second-years. That'll be a challenge..." But it was a challenge worth taking up. He was devoted to the success of his students; to seeing them happy and proud of themselves. To showing them that learning never stops losing its value. "...But I'll put some thought into it. Heh, I don't even know if she likes the same kind of music that I do..."

His mouth snapped shut, clamping down on that thought. No! Don't tell her I only listen to video game music! I'm not ready for that yet! Still, he had to find something about himself he could share to return the favor...fortunately, there had been something else she had said upon which he could build.

"So you coach the dance team, Ayame-san? That's actually pretty impressive. Me, I just run the PC Literacy Club. It's not much, but it's something that's important to me. I've been using PCs for a long time and I know firsthand how powerful and versatile they can be, even though they're difficult to learn. That's why I wanted to take it upon myself to help students practice with them, so they can learn more, do more, and ultimately get more out of life. Oh, speaking of which, did that touchpad setting help you out with your story?" ...Shit. He had called it a story. He hadn't meant to do that. Okay, maybe running his mouth on autopilot wasn't such a good idea. Sounds started to pour out of his mouth as he struggled to fill in the gap left in the conversation. "Um-...I mean...that is..."

He wouldn't clam up...

"I mean, was it a story? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to read it, but it was interesting...I mean, it looked like a story to me because I've read stories like that from time to time too...which, uh...which is to say..."

He couldn't...

"...Well, I mean, I'm a translator. In my spare time, anyway; however much of that I get. I like reading fanfiction stories from this one series, translating them from English, and sharing them so us Japanese fans can enjoy them. Including the 'mature'-rated stories, to the constant chagrin of a portion of my fanbase. I mean, yes, not everyone can appreciate that sort of thing and I can accept that. But what pisses me off is when some people get so self-righteous that they act like I have no right to share something I enjoy for the benefit of other people who also enjoy it..." Why am I even talking about this? "...But...uh, um..."

Not this time...

"But yeah, I spare as much time for it as I can between classes and clubs and those damned drinking parties. How does anybody actually enjoy those things? Seriously, they're such a chore and nothing good ever happens. Not to me anyway. Well, hardly. I still remember that time when you smiled at me at the last one we went to. I didn't even know your name, and that was like, the highlight of every nomikai I've had to go to ever. It's like-..."

Hana stopped abruptly as the full realization of what he had been rambling on about finally dawned on him. The war of conflicting feelings raging within him had finally succeeded in tipping him one way or the other, and now here he was revealing his true self to someone he barely even knew and had no idea if he could trust or how she would use that information against him. And at the very least, he had probably embarrassed her by even saying two words about her own "story". She was sure to hate him now. He had ruined his first and only date, and she would no doubt tell everyone else about her horrible experience and warn people to stay even further away from him than they already did, including her own students...all because he had decided to go against all convention and not keep his damn mouth shut for five more seconds...

In his head, he could feel everything crashing down around him. Blood rushed to his face, his ears burned, his chest hurt, and his vision was getting fuzzy. He hung his head and let out a heavy, defeated sigh, speaking only one more word: "...Sorry." He had no idea what was going to happen next, but whatever it was, he was convinced it wasn't going to be pretty.

Hana wasn't sure to make of what happened next. Maybe his brain was just refusing to accept reality and hallucinating that they were still having a normal conversation. But as he turned over the book Ayame had given him in one hand and slapped his face around a couple times with the other, the transition back to reality he was expecting didn't come. He must have looked extremely silly to her. And yet there she was, still speaking to him in that friendly tone of voice, still smiling. She hadn't even reacted to the word 'story'. This was unfamiliar territory Hana was treading upon now; no one had ever wanted to keep talking to him for this long, especially after he tried talking about himself. He had no idea what kind of mysterious forces were at work here, but it ignited something inside him. That same spark that drove him to explore the world of a game or dive into the depths of its battle system. So too did it drive him to delve into this new territory and figure it out. With that thought, Hana was able to find his voice again.

"So...you are a writer, then? That's...actually pretty impressive," he said, not yet scrutinizing the cover of the book he was now holding. "I can't write my own stories; only build off something someone else has already written. Hence why I'm a translator." Hana smiled slightly; he didn't quite know how or why he had thought to say them, but those words had come surprisingly easy to him. He started to relax again and his pulse rate was returning to normal as he continued to listen to Ayame. But if what she said was true, then...this was extremely personal information she was sharing with him. A secret penname not even her parents knew about? He couldn't imagine she would appreciate him telling anyone else about this...not that he had anyone else to tell it to.

"So your parents don't approve, huh? Heh...I know how that feels. I was really into anime and games as a kid, but my mother seemed to hate me having anything to do with most of them, for whatever reason. I've always had to keep my hobbies to myself. Even now, I'm sure she'd throw a fit if she knew what I get up to alone in my own home..." He chuckled at his half-innuendo. It was true; he enjoyed a good (bad) trashy anime as much as anyone. Well...as much as some people, anyway. Maybe even Ayame herself, judging from the way she said the word content shortly before calling her novel romance...

He finally looked down at the book, examining the attractive couple holding each other passionately on the cover. Does Ayame really like this sort of thing too? The thought intrigued him in a way he hadn't anticipated, and he couldn't catch himself before his mind hurriedly went to a very inappropriate place. His face reddened, his breathing quickened, and his vision became hazy again, though for an entirely different reason this time as his mind's eye projected Ayame and himself onto the cover. His eyes darted from the cover to Ayame and back again. The couple were nowhere near undressed, but of course the woman's shoes had to be off, making it even harder for Hana not to imagine Ayame pouncing on him to share just such an intimate moment right then and there...

Finally, Hana snapped his head down and shot his arm out to give the book back. He was grateful that real life was not an anime; this was the moment when his head would burst into steam and his nose would start bleeding. "...So, I, uh...I guess we share a common interest..." he stammered. Awkwardly, yes, but he was still surprised that the words actually fell from his mouth. Not even his usual inhibitions were doing much to keep him quiet about himself now. They didn't spike my drink, did they?

"Oh, I love Persona!" Hana's voice became animated again as fond memories rushed back to him. "I especially love how the games reward your relationships with the NPCs by tying it back to the battle system. Let me tell you, I could lose myself for hours meticulously fusing the best personas with the most optimal combinations of skills...I guess the fact that you're on a constant time limit makes it more difficult, but those kinds of games seem to be the ones I do best at. The Atelier games run on a calendar too. I like the time management element. I think it helps, having a calendar to keep me focused and on task..." Even as he spoke, some part of his mind was watching himself in wonder. It's true, what she said; I never have said this much to anyone before save for me students. This never happens. Why is it that for everything she says, it's so easy for me to find something to say back?

Hana started to calm down again when Ayame didn't react to his embarrassment over the book and was obviously just interested in talking. But then...

I guess I can now that I've gotten to know you.

For the he-didn't-know-what-th time that evening, Hana couldn't believe what he was hearing. Slowly, carefully, he turned her words over and over in his mind, trying to figure out if they really meant what he thought they meant.\

I don't think I could really consider any of them friends...

But now that she had met him...they were her friends? Or he was? Hana's self-conscious, self-doubting side would have immediately latched onto the former interpretation, but as he forced himself to consider the possibilities objectively, it just didn't seem like it would make as much sense. So...we're friends now? Just like that? But I didn't even do anything. All we did was talk... As much as he had learned about the "magic of friendship" from his favorite Western anime, he wasn't sure he had ever experienced it for himself. He only had the perspective of an outsider looking in; to him, friendship was something that only ever happened outside of his control, and never to him. In fact, who was to say Ayame wasn't just lying or joking?

But it was stupid to even think that at this point. Hana couldn't back out now. She had already been kind enough not judge him for his interests, and this was what he had wanted all this time: to let someone in and not get hurt. He wanted to trust Ayame; to give her the benefit of the doubt and try his best to be her friend. So what is it that friends do again? They're there for each other. They talk to each other. They do things they enjoy together. They... ...Was romance an option? Maybe, maybe not, but if nothing else they had to start somewhere, at least. "Friends..." The word escaped his lips in a contemplative tone. He tried to rack his brain for the appropriate response when someone offered to be your friend. But as he found his gaze caught in Ayame's dazzling green eyes, every potentially helpful scene from an anime or line from a visual novel fled from him. So instead, he forced himself to look deep into her eyes, deeper than he had ever looked into anyone else's before. And he gave her the most sincere, affectionate smile he could manage, hoping that the feelings he had no words for could somehow get through to her.

A moment later, Hana returned to his food. His mind scrambled for something else to talk about, but then another thought occurred to him as he glanced over at Ayame's meal. Did friends cook for each other too? He was pretty sure that was a thing. Maybe someday he'd get the chance to cook for Ayame. It was rare he got to share his minimal cooking with anyone. "How's your food? You know, I'd love to learn how to make risotto one of these days. I'm not a great cook, but I can get decent enough at a recipe if I devote a few weeks to learning it. It usually goes pretty well, barring a few mishaps the first few tries of course. There was that one time I set a wok of olive oil on fire, but at least I didn't burn anything down."

Hana let out an inelegant snort, grateful he had at least not been chewing on anything at the time. Apparently a propensity for setting things on fire was something else he and Ayame had in common. He continued to talk to her about a few different things as they continued eating. Things he had learned to cook, his favorite games, favorite kinds of anime to watch or stories to read. "I was never into shounen series. I've always preferred the juicy, emotional stuff over action and intrigue. Go figure." ... "RPGs are my favorite, but probably because they're so text-heavy and character-focused. I like anything with well-developed characters; anything that lets you dig down deep into their personalities and really get to know them." ... "That's what I love about the Ar Tonelico games. The Dive system takes you into the world of the characters' minds and paints entire pictures of singular personality traits or mental issues as these whole, exaggerated, overblown, dramatic, metaphorical scenarios. And it gives you such a complete feel for the characters." ... It was just fascinating to talk and listen to her talk. They seemed to have a lot to talk about now that he knew how much they had in common.

When they had finally finished eating, Hana let out a contented sigh. "I don't think I saved any room for dessert; did you? Although maybe it would be nice to take home some tiramisu. I don't eat sweets very often, but I always really enjoy them when I do. I wonder if those two facts are related. Heh. Are you having anything?"